*We caught up with “Black Love” creators Codie and Tommy Oliver to dish about the all-new resonating episode featuring couples who have persevered through some life-threatening challenges, proving that love has the power to conquer the most insurmountable odds.
Grant and Tamia Hill, and two-time Olympians Jamie Nieto and Shevon Stoddart open up about how learning to live with unexpected led to a more balanced life.
“You say your vows and you don’t always know what’s to come, you just say it,” Codie tells EUR/Electronic Urban Report. “And as Grant (Hill) said, ‘Our vows were tested.’ I think the takeaway that I’ve learned is that anything can happen and you really want to live your life and love your marriage as best you possibly can. Hopefully, some of these stories actually are preparing you for the reality of, it can be okay.
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The filmmakers and real-life couple tell us that while they have not had “an explicit conversation about what we would do” when their own vows are tested by a potentially fatal or chronic illness,” Codie noted: “I think for us, and hopefully for the audience, what has been the most prevailing feeling is the sense of we now have examples of having talked to all of these people as to like, how to get through, and that we can. We have that confidence that we can. I think you pull from the strengths of the people who have been through it and say we can do this.”
Tommy shared that “the closest we’ve come to having this conversation was several years ago,” and he recalls a conversation he had with a man several years ago that reminded him to always stay true to the ‘ in sickness and in health” part of his marital vows.
“We did an interview that has not aired, and we were in Las Vegas and there was a guy whose wife was dealing with cancer… and actually this has come up a couple of times where we’ve heard of guys leaving their wives and we talked about it in the context of, that’s not something that I would ever do,” he explained.
“We are committed to each other through thick and thin. Like (Sterling K. Brown) said (in the finale episode, airing next week), you don’t really expect things to get that bad, but sometimes they do. Sometimes there are some things that you have absolutely no control over. And for me, no matter what it is, I will be there for my wife. I will do whatever I can to make sure I’m supporting her through any and everything.”
Has exploring black love through the couples featured on the series been transformative for Codie and Tommy?
Mrs. Oliver admits “there’s no way to go through this and do these interviews — we’ve done like, a hundred now — and to come through the ones that end up on air that we end up watching 20-times over, and not learn something. And Tony has made the point that just because we get all these amazing experiences and advice doesn’t mean that they are suddenly committed to muscle memory and now we’re the best spouses ever. Definitely does not mean that. But, we can’t go through it without hearing something, and oftentimes something different and it’s sitting with us for a while. ‘Should I change how I’m operating? Should I communicate with him differently?’
Continuing, she added: “Actually, one of the things that stands out to me is when Shevon, the former Olympian, who’s married to Jamie Nieto, who became paralyzed after an accident, they’re talking about how she pivoted her life and career to be local and available to be with him and take care of him and go through this with him. She could’ve continued to be an Olympian and she pivoted and has become a singer. She said some people are scared and say ‘I can’t do that. I can’t change my life ‘cause this thing happened to us or to you.’ And that can put a strain on things. But when you’re committed, you have to do that,” she explained.
“That is a lesson that has stood out to me ever since she said it because it applies so much more to just health issues. The last thing we want is to have to change your whole life because your spouse is sick or hurt. But there’s so much we go through on a day-to-day basis where if we realize ‘I can change what I’m doing to strengthen our relationship and whatever the issue is this is going on.’ So I would say that’s the current thing that’s been sitting with me for a while. We certainly can’t go through a hundred interviews and not learn something.”
“In Sickness and In Health” airs Saturday, October 13 at 10pm ET/PT on OWN and check back soon for PART ll of our conversation with Tommy & Cody.
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